It’s Republican Senator John McCain vs. Democratic Senator Barack Obama to determine the next President of the United States… and we’ll post results here once the major news organizations start calling it… in the meantime, feel free to comment below!

“Two white supremacists allegedly plotted to go on a national killing spree, shooting and decapitating black people and ultimately targeting Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, federal authorities said Monday.” – (read the full story here)

But you know, I think even if this didn’t happen, the comic would still be pretty dead on. Now, to head off predictable comments, let me say it for the one millionth time – NOT ALL REPUBLICANS ARE RACIST and YOU ARE NOT AUTOMATICALLY A RACIST IF YOU DON’T VOTE FOR OBAMA. That being said, there really is a scary amount of racial hatred being uncovered in this election. Some of the clips I see – especially online – make me wonder if it’s 2008 or 1948. But it’s like I said in this Dustinland from the other week, the same assholes who were calling hippies “long-haired faggot commies” are still out there today, and have even reproduced.

What I really wonder is this: Are the racists of this country afraid that a black man will become president, or are they more afraid that if he gets elected, he’ll do a good job?

.:: Dustinland 10.27.08 ::.

(Of course, I was absolutely right when I said in December 2000 that Dubbaya would be the worst thing to happen to this country since the White House was burned in 1814, and people claimed that I was whining and being hyperbolic and all that. And I still haven’t received one apology from people who went after me. I am truly a great prognosticator. You need to learn that and start listening to me for a change.)

Let’s get something out of the way first: I was for Hitlary. I voted for Hitlary in the primary. What’s going to follow, though, is not sour grapes. You know me better than that. Yeah, I’ll make fun of Tim Russert over his dead body, but I won’t do sour grapes. The reason I won’t fall into that trap is simple: I play the game in a pragmatic fashion. The reason I was for Hitlary was the same reason I was for John Kerry in 2004, even when he was at 9% in the polls: she had the best chance of winning in November. The only goal is to take the White House, period. Hitlary had the best chance of doing it. Now, we can only wonder.

So, how do I feel about our nominee? I’ll be honest: as a loyal Democrat who wants to win in November at all costs, I don’t like it, one damn bit. It’s a situation that I’m going to have to live with. But I don’t trust Barack Hussein Obama as far as I can throw his skinny ass. And I’ll explain why.

Obama as a nominee is giving off strong whiffs of 1972. George McGovern won the nomination by going outside the party apparatus, then had to make peace with them through compromise. Hitlary was the “establishment” candidate this year. Obama is going to have to do what McGovern ended up doing in order to make peace: dump the people who got him the nomination and bring on board the people who can get him the presidency. This is going to alienate the primary voters who went for him as an “agent of change”, people like JJ Botter who couldn’t imagine voting for a “standard” Demo candidate.

If he loses those people, who does that leave? The core Demo voting blocs. So let’s look at them. Blacks…okay, he’s got that sewn up pretty well, I think. But what about women and white blue-collar voters, the Soccer Moms and Reagan Democrats that he has to lure in in order to win? The Soccer Moms wanted Hitlary, as did another key voting bloc, older females. There was no sign of outreach to them during the primaries, since Obama conceded them to Hitlary. Now, if he makes moves, it’s going to appear to be pandering. He can’t win. He can’t even try.

As for the white blue-collar voters…it boils down to one word. That word is “n*gger”. I know these people. I grew up among them. I know how they think. And I said it a long time ago when I was involved in a debate with Grut over Hitlary: a woman in the White House is one thing, but a n*gger? We’re not a color-blind society. We’re not going to be one for a long time. Yes, I regret this. But it’s a fact. Just to show you an example: I was at my mother’s talking with her (hooray for the pharmaceuticals!) when ABC broke into General Hospital with a local emergency news break. It happened to be the story about R. Kelly being found Not Guilty of Kiddie Porn, obviously a big story here in Chicago (hence the news break). A look of disgust came over my mother’s face, and I knew exactly what she was thinking: how could a jury find a n*gger, even a rich n*gger, innocent? We all know they’re animals. He’s obviously guilty, and barely human. That is exactly how white blue-collar Democratic voters think when they see a black face. I lived through the acrimonious Chicago mayoral election when Bernard Epton got more votes than any Republican could ever dream of in Chicago because his opponent happened to have a large amount of melanin. Things haven’t changed that much.

Obama has to draw these people in, especially if he alienates his “youth vote” by playing compromise with the party, in order to win. He’s not going to be able to do that. He can call himself biracial all he wants (and he is), but too many voters out there operate on the “one drop of blood” principle. We can accept and root for a biracial individual being the best in history at what’s traditionally been a white man’s game, but Tiger Woods would have a tough time if he was running for the White House too. Actually, he’d have an easier time of it due to his hot, and very white, wife. I hope I live to see the day when Sam Woods, a half-white, quarter-black, quarter Asian female, will have no problems in running for the presidency due to ethnicity or gender. But 2008 is not that time.

And speaking of wives, there’s another problem. Michelle in 2008 is Hitlary in 1992, period. High-powered lawyer spouse with a big mouth who wears the pants in the family. You think that the GOP can’t wait for her to make a misstep, which she’s going to do (and has already done)? Being a black female does not provide Immunity To Criticism. We’ve moved that far up the ladder of equality. And she’s got a temper on her. If she gets criticized, she’s going after someone. She’s an impediment to the Obama campaign. She needs to be sent out of the country until the second week of November.

Then there’s the whole trust issue. The Rezko situation gets a lot of play around here, but very little on the national and international news. Trust me, there’s more to it than you read in the papers. The situation is a rumbling volcano beneath the Obama campaign, and they’re doing all they can to tamp it down. But it’s about to blow up anyway. Rod the Mod is going to be taken out of it, and as titular head of the Illinois Democrats, if he suffers damage, so does Obama. The damage will be direct and indirect, and it’s going to do more than singe his clothing. It will expose his sleazy side for all the world to see. And there’s not many places as tolerant as Chicago when it comes to accepting sleazy, amoral politicians. You want to totally burn the young “agent of change” voters? They’re going to get fried to a crisp by this Vesuvius of Sleaze. Disillusionment is a wonderful word, isn’t it?

Maybe the Rezko thing will shed light on the 2004 senatorial election. Here’s a little secret: Barack Obama should not be a senator right now. He was losing heavily in the polls to my beloved Seven of Nine’s nasty Republican ex-husband. That was until Jack Ryan tripped over his own dick and fell into the abyss. The GOP was forced to replace him with a non-entity, and this cleared the way for Obama. Who tipped off the papers to Ryan? Someone did. Ryan was the GOP’s Golden Boy, the chance to take the state for Dubbaya, which would have been critical If Illinois had gone for Dubbaya, there wouldn’t have been a need to commit fraud in Ohio to take the election. By all rights, if things had gone normally in Illinois, Obama would have been a lawyer who made a nice speech at the 2004 convention, and nothing else. He’s in the position he’s in today due to luck, lucky to be a senator and lucky to have had a press corps fixated on making Hitlary look as bad as possible. Luck has a tendency to run out. And with our luck, it runs out between now and November.

And that leads us to the final reason: the people around him. Yes, we’ve all heard about the problems he’s been having with his veep staff. But there’s a situation that you probably don’t know about that exemplifies the people of dubious character that he surrounds himself with. His organizer for South Texas is named Mark Rathbun. Mark Rathbun is better known as Marty Rathbun. At one point, Marty Rathbun was the number three man in the Church of Scientology. In 1993, Rathbun was in the room with David Miscavige when they made the dubious tax-exemption deal with the IRS, the one that’s currently under fire in a California court because Scientologists get religious tax breaks that most devout people can only dream of. Rathbun knows more about where Scientology’s bodies are buried than virtually any man alive. If Rathbun should go to the Feds, Miscavige will be spending the rest of his short, miserable life (as short and as miserable as he is) in a federal penitentary. Supposedly, Miscavige has a fear of being ass-raped in prison. He needs to confront those fears as soon as possible.

Guess what, though? Rathbun’s not talking to the Feds. He supposedly left the Church more than a year and a half ago (in fact, it was rumoured that he was actually dead), but he still quotes L. Ron Hubbard in his press pieces. And he’s doing it in a serious fashion. No one does that other than a Scientologist. And look where Rathbun is placed: Texas, chock-full of yummy electoral votes. If Obama should take Texas, he owes Rathbun, big-time. Until Rathbun speaks out against the Church, I’m going to assume that he’s still in and that Obama’s debt chit will be express-mailed to Scientology’s armed compound in Hemet, California, where Miscavige spends his time physically and psychologically abusing formerly-high-ranking Scientologists who’ve somehow pissed him off in a fashion that makes Tony Montana look like Mother Teresa.

Do you want a president who would be in debt to Scientology? No, I wouldn’t either.

A lot of people have been wondering what it would take for me to vote for McCain. Well, I can be bought. Another government job (gee, FDA, my application is in; you could have called me instead of playing around with tomatoes), free medication for life, hot and cold running sex. The usual, in other words. Or Obama can continue going the way he has been. By November, he might have pissed me off enough that I would actually commit an act which I put on par with public bestiality: voting Republican.

On the Republican side, John McCain got 72% of the vote to earn all 42 of KY’s pledged delegates, with Ron Paul getting 7% and other candidates who already dropped out garnering 15%.

On the GOP side, results are still pending as 27 delegates are up for grabs (in addition to the 18 delegates won by Mike Huckabee at the February 5 Republican Caucuses) in the race already presumptively won by John McCain, despite Ron Paul still officially a candidate.

UPDATE (5/14): With 100% of precincts reporting, here are the final numbers, according to CBSNews.com…

Republican Primary
John McCain: 76% — 89,782 votes — 9 delegates
Ron Paul: 5% — 5,918 votes — 0 delegates
Others that already dropped out: 17%

Next up:

May 17 – Hawaii (R)
May 20 – Kentucky & Oregon
May 27 – Idaho (R)
June 1 – Puerto Rico (D)
June 3 – Montana (D), New Mexico (R) and South Dakota
July 12 – Nebraska (R)

The latest delegate totals (2,025 are needed to clinch the nomination) in the Democratic race, according to NYTimes.com (as of 10pm ET on April 28, 2008), are:

Barack Obama
The New York Times
Projected pledged delegates: 1,490
Surveyed superdelegates: 231
Total: 1,721

The Associated Press
Projected pledged delegates: 1,488
Surveyed superdelegates: 236
Total: 1,724

Hillary Clinton
The New York Times
Projected pledged delegates: 1,332
Surveyed superdelegates: 247
Total: 1,579

The Associated Press
Projected pledged delegates: 1,334
Surveyed superdelegates: 259
Total: 1,593

Credit: NYTimes.com

Here is an updated List of 2008 U.S. Presidential candidates…

Democratic Party

Hillary Clinton, U.S. Senator from New York and former First Lady
Barack Obama, U.S. Senator from Illinois, and former Illinois State Senator

Republican Party

Senator John McCain of Arizona
Congressman Ron Paul of Texas

Constitution Party

Former Ambassador Alan Keyes of Maryland
Don J. Grundmann of California. Chiropractor and anti-tax protester
Bryan Malatesta of Texas. Constitution Party of Texas chairman
Max Riekse of Michigan. Retired U.S. Army Lieutenant Colonel
Diane Beall Templin of California. Attorney and political activist

Green Party

Cynthia McKinney, former Georgia Congresswoman
Kat Swift of Texas, co-chair of Texas Green Party
Jesse Johnson of West Virginia, former Mountain Party candidate for US Senate and Governor of West Virginia
Kent Mesplay of California, California Delegate to the Green National Committee

Libertarian Party

Bob Barr, former Republican Congressman from Georgia
Mike Gravel, former Democratic U.S. Senator from Alaska
Daniel Imperato, an entrepreneur from Florida
Steve Kubby, an author, political activist, cannabis consultant from California
George Phillies, a physics professor, writer, and libertarian activist from Massachusetts
Wayne Allyn Root, an author, CEO, TV celebrity and producer from Nevada
Mary Ruwart of Texas. Research scientist, author, political activist
James Burns, former chairman of the Nevada Libertarian Party
Mike Jingozian of Oregon. Software company founder
Christine Smith of Colorado. Writer, humanitarian activist

Prohibition Party

Gene Amondson of Washington, minister and temperance movement activist, received the Prohibition Party’s presidential nomination at its national convention on September 13, 2007 (Leroy Pletten of Michigan is the vice presidential candidate)

Socialist Party USA

Brian Moore of Florida received the Socialist Party USA’s presidential nomination at its national convention, October 19-21, 2007 (Stewart Alexander of California is the vice presidential candidate)

Socialist Workers Party

Róger Calero of New York, journalist, was announced as the presidential nominee of the Socialist Workers Party in January of 2008 (Alyson Kennedy is the vice presidential candidate)

Independent

Ralph Nader of Connecticut, consumer advocate and activist (with Matt Gonzalez, political activist, of California is his running mate)

I want to thank you all for your continued support.

Credit: Wikipedia.org List of Presidential Candidates, Gravel2000.us, AlanKeyes.com

UPDATE 1:30AM ET: CNN, MSNBC and Fox News are calling the Texas Primary for Clinton. Even though full results of the Texas Caucuses won’t likely be available for a few days, Obama has the early lead there.

Click here for a decent explanation of the unique delegate selection process in the Lone Star State.

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Hillary Clinton
1037 elected delegates, 254 superdelegates = 1291 total

Barack Obama
1194 elected delegates, 208 superdelegates = 1402 total

That was the simplest count to recap; if you’d like to dig down deeper, both the New York Times, AP and RealClearPolitics.com have different numbers give or take, which I have been trying to keep track of here.

2025 delegates are needed to secure the Democratic nomination for the President of the United States race. 161 delegates are on the line in Ohio, 32 in Rhode Island, 228 in Texas and 23 in Vermont.

Republican Primaries are also being held tomorrow in Ohio (88 delegates on the line), Rhode Island (20), Texas (140) and Vermont (17), with John McCain leading Mike Huckabee and Ron Paul in delegates, 930 to 248 to 14 according to NBC News. In order to clinch the GOP nomination, 1191 delegates are needed.

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