We welcome your letters, questions and desperate pleas for help in this uncaring world. As always, e-mail WBXylo at Gmail.com. Don’t fret about e-mailing me with puzzle problems; I won’t yell at you.

Mixing Sleepy Juice and Wakey Juice

There are numerous ways to mix wakey juice (i.e. coffee) with sleepy juice (i.e. alcohol), though most methods are indicative of alcoholism.

Such is life.

Amaretto Coffee

1. Pour 1 cup hot coffee into a mug.

2 Add 1 shot of amaretto.

3. Top with whipped cream.

4. Sprinkle with ground coriander.

Anatole Coffee

In a blender with cracked ice, mix:

1 part Cognac
1 part coffee liqueur (kahlua)
1 part Frangelico
and 12 parts cold coffee.

Pour into a chilled white wine glass.

Top with whipped cream.

Sprinkle with chocolate shavings.

The Black Maria

In a large bandy snifter mix:

4 parts coffee liqueur (Kahlua)
4 parts light rum
8 parts cold black coffee
and 1 teaspoon sugar.

Add cracked ice.

Irish Coffee

1. Rim a glass coffee mug with sugar.

2. Add 2 oz. of Irish Whiskey

3. Fill the cup with coffee stopping 1/2 inch from the top.

4. Stir.

5. Top with whipped cream.

And we have saved the dangerous one for last:

Café Royale

1. Pour 1 cup hot black coffee into a coffee mug.

2. Rest a tablespoon on top of the mug.

3. Place a sugar cube in the spoon.

4. Soak the sugar in brandy, pouring in about 2 oz, letting the excess flow into the mug.

5. Wait for the spoon to heat.

6. Light the brandy soaked sugar ON FIRE!

7. Wait for the fire to go out.

8. Turn the spoon over, pouring the mixture into the mug.

9. Float half and half on top.

Word of the Week

zymology – the science or study of fermentation
(Source- There’s a Word for it by Charles Harrington Elster)

This Week’s Puzzle

What do the following words have in common?

Barrymore
batwing
Bermuda
bishop
Buster Brown
Chinese
crew
Dutch
macaroni
Medici

Last Week’s Puzzle

What do the following words have in common?

colonial
modern
vernacular
T-type

Though BROKEN DIAL’s Greg Wind was the first to say architecture, IP’s renaissance man Danny Cox knew exactly what I was seeking:
Being a former architecture major for all of one semester, the words “colonial, vernacular, modern, and T-type” are all architectural terms usually associated when dealing with the building of mosques.

We welcome your letters, questions and desperate pleas for help in this uncaring world. As always, e-mail WBXylo at Gmail.com. Don’t fret about e-mailing me with puzzle problems; I won’t yell at you.

How to kill a Unicorn

Legend says that the lion is the only creature capable of defeating a unicorn. Bollocks! You too can us the lion’s method to best a unicorn in combat.

Step 1: Stand in front of a large tree.

Step 2: Taunt the unicorn mercilessly, provoking an attack.

Step 3: Allow the unicorn to charge.

Step 4: Sidestep the unicorn’s charge. This will cause the unicorn’s horn to become lodged into the trunk of the tree, rendering it helpless to your counter attack.

Being a magic-based (and fictional) creature, it is unknown how effective the use of firearms would be against a unicorn. Be that as it may, I would not recommend the use of a handgun against the beasts, favoring a rifle or a shotgun loaded with rifled slugs.

How to Stop a Modular Robot
Source: Daniel H. Wilson’s How to Survive a Robot Uprising
(Buy the book.)

Modular robots may be the most dangerous type of robot. These complex machines are actually made up of many smaller machines, called modules, much like humans (and other living things) are made out of cells. They can assume various shapes, self repair, and can be all sorts of trouble if you are trying to keep Eddie Furlong alive. Never engage a modular robot unless absolutely necessary.

The best way to defend yourself against these evil-natured robots is to attack them when they are vulnerable, i.e. during a transition phase. Daniel H. Wilson offers several useful techniques in his magnificent book, the best of which may be pouring a thick opaque liquid over the robot to disrupt communication between modules.

Word of the Week

uzzard – a third-generation bastard
(Source- There’s a Word for it by Charles Harrington Elster)

This Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: Probably Hard)

What do the following words have in common?

colonial
modern
vernacular
T-type

Last Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: Bought for a song)

What letter replaces the question mark in the following sequence?

T T L S
H I W W Y A
U A T W S H
L A D I T ?

Robert Ortega was our winner, offering:
T(winkle) T(winkle) L(ittle) S(tar)

? = S(ky)

We welcome your letters, questions and desperate pleas for help in this uncaring world. As always, e-mail WBXylo at Gmail.com. Don’t fret about e-mailing me with puzzle problems; I won’t yell at you.

Q: It is Harry S. Truman. What does the S stand for?

A: The S stands for S. His parents chose that letter as his middle name in order to appease both grandfathers with a sort of namesake.

Q:What does S.H.I.E.L.D. stand for in Marvel Comics?

A: Originally, it stood for -

Supreme
Headquarters,
International
Espionage,
Law-Enforcement
Division.

Arguably this would lead to the acronym SHIELED.

Perhaps this is why it was changed about 15 years ago to be –

Strategic
Hazard
Intervention,
Espionage and
Logistics
Directorate

Q:Is the Patriot Act an Acronym?

A: Yup, but officially it is the USA PATRIOT Act. This work might actually put Stan Lee to shame, as it’s full title is –

Uniting and
Strengthening
America by

Providing
Appropriate
Tools
Required to
Intercept and
Obstruct
Terrorism

Act of 2001.

The only sillier acronyms than this one are the intentionally silly ones, such as Tom Servo’s Walk-a-thon charity: Helping Children Through Research And Development, which stands for-

Hi,
Everyone,
Let’s
Pitch
In
‘N’
Get

Cracking
Here
In
Louisiana
Doing
Right,
Eh?
Now

Then,
Hateful,
Rich,
Overbearing
Ugly
Guys
Hurt

Royally
Every time
Someone
Eats
A
Radish,
Carrot,
Hors d’oeuvre,

And
Never
Does

Dishes.
Eventually,
Victor
Eats
Lunch
Over
Peoria
Mit
Ein
Neuesberger
Tod.

Word of the Week

acronyx – an ingrown fingernail or toenail
(Source- There’s a Word for it by Charles Harrington Elster)

This Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: Bought for a song)

What letter replaces the question mark in the following sequence?

T T L S
H I W W Y A
U A T W S H
L A D I T ?

Last Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: Monkey!)
What is the next number in the pattern:

1, 2, 5, 13, 34, 89, 233, . . . ?

Greg Wind was the first e-mailer with the correct answer of 610. His method?
Take the last number, multiply it by 2 and add the rest of the chain.

Or as Robert Ortega put it:

1=1
1+(1)=2
1+2+(2)=5
1+2+5+(5)=13
1+2+5+13+(13)=34
1+2+5+13+34+(34)=891+2+5+13+34+89+(89)=233
1+2+5+13+34+89+233+(233)=610

1, 2, 5, 13, 34, 89, 233, 610

Or as succinctly put by e-mailer Michael:
It’s 610; Every other number in the fibonacci sequence.

We welcome your letters, questions and desperate pleas for help in this uncaring world. As always, e-mail WBXylo at Gmail.com. Don’t fret about e-mailing me with puzzle problems; I won’t yell at you.

Q: Who is that big red-orange hairy monster in the Bugs Bunny cartoons? You know the one who wears sneakers?

A: In both “Hair-Raising Hare” and “Water, Water Every Hare” the big hairy guy is the monstrous henchman of a mad scientist and is called Rudolph.

But he was dubbed “Gossamer” by Marvin the Martian in a later cartoon, and that name has since stuck.

How to Defend Against a Chokeslam

Method One:

1. Your opponent has “goozled” you, holding you around the neck with his right hand.

2. Circle your left arm in a counter-clock manner around the right arm of your opponent.

3. Using your left radius, apply pressure to his right triceps.

4. Place your right arm on you attacker’s right shoulder. Grab your right forearm with your left hand, “figure-4″ing the arm. This will increase pressure on the triceps.

Method Two:

1. Don’t jump.

Word of the Week

gossamer – noun) a fine, filmy substance consisting of cobwebs spun by small spiders.

adjective) very fine and insubstantial.

(Source- Oxford University Press)

This Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: Monkey!)
What is the next number in the pattern:

1, 2, 5, 13, 34, 89, 233, . . . ?

Last Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: Multiple Choice!)
From: Mindtrap

Which number is next in this series:

10, 4, 3, 11, 15, . . . ?

a) 14
b) 1
c) 17
d) 12

Answer
Robert Ortega explains it all.

Sequence = 10, 4, 3, 11, 15, 14
Alternatively = ten, four, three, eleven, fifteen, fourteen
Number of Letters = 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

We welcome your letters, questions and desperate pleas for help in this uncaring world. As always, e-mail WBXylo at Gmail.com. Don’t fret about e-mailing me with puzzle problems; I won’t yell at you.

Q: How does my Wii know how fast I’m swinging?
Source: Popular Science April 2007, p. 62

The Wii’s remote, or wii-mote, contains an accelerometer, a device found in everything from airbags to pedometers.

The Wii’s accelerometer consists of a set of silicon plates and a silicon weight. The weight has a current running thought it and is held in place by a tiny spring. At rest, the weight sends equal voltage to each of the plates.

When the wii-mote is moved, the weight shifts, sending differing voltages to the plates. Using Acceleration is equal to Force divided by Mass, the wii-mote can calculate the rate at which one is able to change the speed of the wii-mote. The weight is able to shift in three dimensions, and thus the accelerometer can register forward to back, up and down, or left to right acceleration.

For those curious, the mass of this accelerometer’s weight is less than .000001grams, and it is able to shift no more than 5 nanometers in any given direction.

How to Make a Stinger

Adding the predicate “Stinger” to a drink name indicates the usage of white creme de menthe. There are tequila stingers and vodka stingers, each of which contains 2 ounces of the hard liquor to one oz of the liqueur and is served in cocktail glass.

The traditional Stinger contains 4 parts brandy to 2 parts white creme de menthe. Shake well over cracked ice and strain into the chilled old-fashioned glass.

Word of the Week

coprology – the study of pornography
(Source- There’s a Word for it by Charles Harrington Elster)

This Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: Multiple Choice!)
From: Mindtrap

Which number is next in this series:

10, 4, 3, 11, 15, . . . ?

a) 14
b) 1
c) 17
d) 12

Last Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: Anagram fun!)

Example: Five letters, arranged one way form dirt, another way make an organ.
Answer: Earth; heart.

Six letters, arranged one way form a class of animal, another way spell out something taboo.

BrokenDial’s Greg Wind is back on top again, providing the answer – Insect/Incest.

We welcome your letters, questions and desperate pleas for help in this uncaring world. As always, e-mail WBXylo at Gmail.com. Don’t fret about e-mailing me with puzzle problems; I won’t yell at you.

We have two incredibly short “how-to”s this week. I’m not sure why that is.

How to Remove Marker Stains from Clothes

Step 1: Spray the area with hairspray.

Step 2: Rub the area with a bar of soap.

Step 3: Rinse.

Step 4: Run the shirt through the laundry.

How to Make a Moulin Rouge

Over cracked ice, mix 4 parts sloe gin with 1 part sweet vermouth and 4 dashes angostura bitters.

Shake well.

Strain into a chilled martini glass.

Word of the Week

purlicue – the web of flesh between the thumb and forefinger
(Source- There’s a Word for it by Charles Harrington Elster)

This Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: Anagram fun!)

Example: Five letters, arranged one way form dirt, another way make an organ.
Answer: Earth; heart.

Six letters, arranged one way form a class of animal, another way spell out something taboo.

Last Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: like a mild case of chicken pox)

Which of the following letters doesn’t belong and why?

C, D, O, P, S, U, V, W, X, Z

Who knew letters would be so controversial? We had the answer of W for a couple of good reasons. W has three syllables, whereas all other English letters have one. W isn’t represented in the Periodic Table (Point of clarity: W is used in the table, but no element starts with W in English). W isn’t used in some Romance languages, etc.

But it was Haley who delivered the answer we were looking for (and the one that was hinted at in the difficulty).

The D does not belong because
its shape differs between lower and upper case. the rest of the
letters are the same shape, just a smaller size.

I need the free publicity, I might start writing my Little Things column again.

Free publicity to Haley.

We welcome your letters, questions and desperate pleas for help in this uncaring world. As always, e-mail WBXylo at Gmail.com. Don’t fret about e-mailing me with puzzle problems; I won’t yell at you.

How to Defeat the Brobot L-Type
In Super Paper Mario

The second battle with the Brobot can actually be easier than the first, provided one isn’t averse to cheating and/or cheesing.

First, switch to Princess Peach. Her umbrella will be able to block the Brobot’s rays and missiles, but that’s not the only way in which it comes in handy.

When the Brobot is low to the ground, jump on it where ever you can. This might be on its fist or its nose.

After you bounce off of the Brobot, hold down the jump button to use Peach’s hover ability. You should be above the Brobot’s head.

Bounce off of the Brobot’s head until it is defeated, using Peach’s umbrella to hover between bounces. Peach will be off-screen much of this time, so a little skill will be needed to aim her landings.

It will take a bit of time to beat the evil natured robot programmed to destroy us, but the Brobot will be incapable of harming Peach provided she remains above it.

How to Make an Irish Shillelagh

We’re talking about the drink, not the cudgel. (I’m not certain why the “Irish” portion of the name wasn’t dropped as a redundancy, but perhaps there exist shillelaghs of other nationalities.)

In a blender, combine 4 parts Irish whiskey, 1 part light rum, 1 part sloe gin, 2 parts fresh lemon juice, 1/2 teaspoon of bar sugar, 1/4 cup fresh diced peaches, and cracked ice.

Blend until smooth.

Pour into an old-fashioned.

Garnish with rasperries.

Word of the Week

hallux – the big toe.
(Source- There’s a Word for it by Charles Harrington Elster)

This Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: like a mild case of chicken pox)

Which of the following letters doesn’t belong and why?

C, D, O, P, S, U, V, W, X, Z

Last Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: Hard as hail)

Crack the code.

32 = ???

Robert O. is our latest winner, who concisely answered:

32 = FDR
US Presidents

We welcome your letters, questions and desperate pleas for help in this uncaring world. As always, e-mail WBXylo at Gmail.com. Don’t fret about e-mailing me with puzzle problems; I won’t yell at you.

How to Fake Psychokinetic Powers

This is a minimalist magic trick which can be surprisingly effective. It was good enough to fool That’s Incredible about 30 years ago when performed by a man with “psychic powers” and a bad haircut.

This trick requires no special magic training, and no expensive props.

Step 1: Talk up your telekinesis. Use your imagination. Maybe you learned the technique from your Yoga instructor. Maybe these are powers you don’t quite understand. Make it your own.

Step 2: Place a pencil on table, desk or flat surface. Set it near the edge and perpendicular to it. Rest the pencil such that half of the pencil is over the edge of the table and the other half is over the table. If you balance it just right, the pencil will have a minimal contact with the surface just at the table’s edge.

Step 3: Put on a show. Rub your temples. Do big hand movements. Walk away for a moment and come back. Study the pencil. Make it your own. During this time the pencil might just move, as it is teetering fairly precariously. If it does, take credit.

Step 4: If the pencil has yet to move (i.e. the room is poorly ventilated/ without air conditioning/ etc.) here is where the only bit of skill is needed. Make a distracting motion with your hands in order to “move” the pencil. While doing this thing, gently blow on one end of the pencil. It won’t take much to move the pencil, so the softer the better. Also, make sure not to move your face in such a manner that it looks like you are blowing.

There, you too can be the next Uri Geller!

How to Convert Centigrade to Fahrenheit

People forget the algorithm for temperature conversion, but if we examine whence comes this thing, we can more easily remember it.

First lets compare degree size. There is a 100 degree difference between the melting and boiling points of water in Centigrade. In Fahrenheit, there is a 180 degree difference (Boiling point-melting point = 212-32). This leaves us with a C to F ratio of 100:180, which simplifies to be 5:9. This tells us that a 9 degree change in Fahrenheit is equivalent to a 5 degree change in Centigrade.

Now, let’s also note that there is a 32 degree offset as 0 degrees C = 32 degrees F.

So to change from Centigrade (Celsius) to Fahrenheit we need to multiply by (9F/5C) and add 32F.

Lets look at 20 degrees Celsius. Is that hot or cold? Most Americans probably don’t know (unless they remember it as the uiquitous Room Temperature of high school science). Using the algorithm, we can divide that 20 by 5 (getting 4) multiply that by 9 (getting 36) and add 32, leaving us with the answer 68 degrees Fahrenheit.

Word of the Week

hoxter – the inside pocket of a coat or a suit.
(Source- There’s a Word for it by Charles Harrington Elster)

This Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: Hard as hail)

Crack the code.

3 = TJ
6 = JQA
18 = USG
26 = TR
28 = WW
30 = CC
31 = HH

32 = ???

Last Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: Blinded by Science?)

A physicist has challenged a track star to a wager. The physicist draws a line on the sidewalk in front of them. He says, “This will be our starting line, and our finish line.” The physicist points to a tree. “Each of us is going to run to that tree, touch it, and run back. I bet you 100 dollars that I can match your average velocity.”

Is this a good bet for the track star?

Pulse Wrestling All star Eric S. likes to talk about vectors:

Of course it’s a great bet for the physicist. Taken on a strictly
vector basis, the distance traveled is zero. Thus, the average velocity
(distance/time) will also be zero. Now that’s the kind of race I like
to run.

We welcome your letters, questions and desperate pleas for help in this uncaring world. As always, e-mail WBXylo at Gmail.com. Don’t fret about e-mailing me with puzzle problems; I won’t yell at you.

How to Avoid Hanger Creases

It can be a chore to iron a pair of slacks right before you wear them. Most hangers will leave a crease in pants just above the knee, marking the point at which the trousers were hung. Dry cleaners use hangers with rolled cardboard bottoms to mitigate this problem.

If you’re not a dry cleaner, here is what you can do.

1. Find a cardboard tube, from a roll of paper towels or plastic wrap for instance.

2. Cut a slit down the length of the tube.

3. Slip the bottom of a hanger into the slit.

It’s safer than robbing the dry cleaners.

How to Make Pecan Pie
Sources: Various, mostly The Joy of Cooking

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit.
2. Line a pan with your pie dough and bake it for 5-7 minutes. (You want a crust that is only partially cooked.)
3. Allow crust to cool.
4. Set oven to 375.
5. In a large bowl, mix 3 eggs, 1 cup sugar, 1/3 cup melted butter, 1 cup light corn syrup, and 1/2 teaspoon salt (if using unsalted butter).
6. Add 1 cup pecan halves, 1 tablespoon rum, and stir well.
7. Fill the pie shell.
8. Sprinkle 1/4 cup mini chocolate chips on top of pie.
9. Bake for 40-50 minutes, or until an inserted knife comes out clean.

Word of the Week

termagant – a violent, brawling woman.
(Source- There’s a Word for it by Charles Harrington Elster)

This migh be the first WotW that has been in my Wordperfect Dictionary, which defines a termagant as a bad-tempered or overbearing woman.

This Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: Blinded by Science?)

A physicist has challenged a track star to a wager. The physicist draws a line on the sidewalk in front of them. He says, “This will be our starting line, and our finish line.” The physicist points to a tree. “Each of us is going to run to that tree, touch it, and run back. I bet you 100 dollars that I can match your average velocity.”

Is this a good bet for the track star?

Last Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: APP, are you smarter than a 5th grader?)
With which of the following words could one properly describe a square?

Rhombus, Rectangle, Tetrahedron, Quadrilateral, Regular Polygon

Jim U. knows his geometry.

Rhombus – All sides are equal length.
Rectangle – Two sets of parallel side.
Quadrilateral – Four sides and four vertices.
Regular Polygon – Equal sides and angles.
The only one that doesn’t describe a square is a tetrahedron which is a three dimensional object.

We welcome your letters, questions and desperate pleas for help in this uncaring world. As always, e-mail WBXylo at Gmail.com. Don’t fret about e-mailing me with puzzle problems; I won’t yell at you.

Thirteen fears for Friday the Thirteenth
(Source- There’s a Word for it by Charles Harrington Elster)

1. taphephobia – the fear of being buried alive.
2. phalacrophobia – the fear of going bald (A.K.A. alopeciaphobia)
3. prophylacticofrangiphobia – the fear of a condom breaking during sex
4. staurophobia – the fear of crucifixes
5. anatidaephobia – the fear of ducks, geese, swans, mergansers
6. spectocloacaphobia – the fear of one’s eyeglasses falling into the sewer
7. medomalacophobia – the fear of losing an erection during intercourse
8. barophobia – the fear of gravity
9. bdellophobia – the fear of leeches
10. gametophobia – the fear of marriage
11. porphyrophobia – the fear of purple
12. bathysiderodromophobia – the fear of subways
13. albophobia – the fear of white people

This Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: APP, are you smarter than a 5th grader?)
With which of the following words could one properly describe a square?

Rhombus, Rectangle, Tetrahedron, Quadrilateral, Regular Polygon

Last Week’s Puzzle (Difficulty: Small Change)

On the Earth’s equator, if you drop a nickel (mass 5 grams) from a height of one meter, will it fall more quickly through water at 50 degrees Fahrenheit or water at 20 degrees Fahrenheit?

Greg Wind sees through my superfluous information:

50 degrees, because it won’t travel through ice.