So I decided to dust off the old column, it being an election year and all. And I’ve got to say that I’m kinda sorta paying attention now. I pretty much avoided all of the primary stuff because really, who cares about that stuff? Now my eyes are open and I’m an undecided waiting to be swayed.

I started paying attention when McCain made his inspired choice for a running mate. Not only could she fill the void left by HRC, but with the teenage pregnancy and the shotgun weddings it was a pick that’s sure to resonate with all of those Red Staters.

As time goes on, I’ve found myself becoming enamored with Palin, much in the same way I fell for G-Dub; not really articulate, not that educated, sort of lucked into political power. Palin has everything that tickles me about G-Dub and a great smile!

And McCain is looking more impressive the more I learn about him. Not only does he rep Az (just like me) but he digs both Dexter and The Wire. Some people want a President that they can have a beer with, but I want a guy who can talk about the last days of the Barksdale crew.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Obama. He’s a cool dude. I’d say what’s up to him on the street and give him a head nod in a room full of white people. But just because we’re both Black doesn’t mean he automatically gets my vote.

First of all, he’s really not that “Black.” I mean his mom is from the Midwest and his pop is from Kenya, which means the guy doesn’t have a drop of slave in him. He’s like those Black folks from Britain; yeah, we’re both minorities, but you’re really lacking something.

And Biden, his hair really, really sucks. I think that centuries from now, people are going to look back on Biden’s hair much like we look back on the powdered wigs of days gone by; as a ridiculous decision.

As an undecided voter I’m ashamed to say that the only debate I’ve managed to catch was the VP one, but it was thoroughly entertaining. In fact I learned a thing or two from that debate.

Pallin has no idea what “maverick” means – Mavericks don’t really work well with others, that’s what makes them a maverick. And having two mavericks would just be chaos, because they’d just be acting all maverick-y to each other and never really accomplish anything.

Biden’s got a serious beef with Exxon Mobil – I don’t know what Exxon/Mobil did to Joe Biden but he took every opportunity to bash the company. Maybe the guy who killed his family filled his tank at one of their stations before the accident. Maybe Exxon/Mobil denied Biden a gas card. Who knows, but Exxon/Mobil better hope that Biden doesn’t get elected or it’s curtains.

In the global high school, Israel is the star quarterback – It was kinda awkward watching the two candidates fall all over themselves to kiss up to Israel. “Huh uh, me and Israel are BFFs! And we’re going to go to the prom and then we’re going to get married and have babies.” I swore that Joe Biden was making a MASH note to Israel during the debate.

The Palin’s have that hotness gene – If I was an Alaskan separatist or redneck teenager I’d have totally I’d have totally put my baby in one of them too. There’s no denying that.

Sadly the debate didn’t offer up any evidence on which was worthy of my vote. And thus I’m still undecided. But I promise an update next week.

Last 5 posts by mathan erhardt

• Hodgepodgeatorium - The Most Pressing Issue - October 20th, 2008
• Hodgepodgeatorium - Resolutions - February 10th, 2008
• Hodgepodgeatorium - As American as Apple Pie - January 4th, 2008
• Hodgepodgeatorium - How Far We've Come - September 23rd, 2007
• Hodgepodgeatorium - Perception - August 27th, 2007