I had started running this list over on my own blog, but Matt commented that he wouldn’t mind the content for Moodspins. After hammering out important contract details into the wee hours of the morning (he was trying to rip me off on the DVD royalties — he’s mean that way) we bring to you the new feature sweeping the nation: As If It Matters 2008.

Some important things to note before we get in to this:

1) I’m notoriously libertarian about almost everything. I can’t call myself a true libertarian because those people are f*cking crazy.

2) I am Generation X… which means I’m cynical about the function of the government and pretty much have joined the “it doesn’t matter who wins, both candidates are out for themselves and for power and will do whatever the Illumnati tell them” club. I’ve realized that the Boomers are going to hold power forever and that by the time they leave, power will have skipped GenX and gone right to GenY.

As part of that cynicism, I’ve accepted the fact that the pissing contest between the Republicans and Democrats and the people who sell hate will probably end up collapsing the system. The 24-hour news cycle and hate-sale business has murdered the idea of compromise and where no idea, even if it’s good, can be accomplished. Social Security is going to collapse. It is. When I’m of age, it will be gone. A legitimate idea to fix the problem was destroyed by Democrats because they didn’t come up with it. I believe this because no one can possibly believe that a system which will eventually see Generation X trying to support the Boomers will hold up when coupled with a system of government jobs (like the Post Office, teachers, and railroad workers) where people can retire with full benefits at 55.

3) I’m pretty sure that most of Frodo Kucinich’s articles of impeachment are hogsh*t and will hurt Obama more than help him.

4) I don’t vote based on social issues because social issues will tend to move left by themselves regardless of who’s in charge. This has been the trend in the 200-odd years this country has been around and I have no reason to believe that will change under the current Constitution.

5) I believe that the government loves the issues of gay marriage, abortion, and illegal immigration because it distracts the masses from the fact China owns our country.

6) I don’t believe that judges who are declaring marriage laws unconstitutional and are requiring the government to allow prisoners some sort of judicial review are “activist judges.” I do believe they have simply read the fourteenth amendment and realize what it actually means. Specifically, this bit — nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws — which seems really straightforward.

7) I believe Lindsay Graham should be removed from office based on his idea that the Constitution should be amended to suspend Habeus Corpus because of the Supreme Court’s (correct) ruling that prisoners at Guantanamo have the right to judicial review of their cases.

Over the next few weeks I’m going to pick random issues off each candidate’s site and decide who I agree with more. I’ll keep a running total until it gets too serious.

Important note: I live in New York. My vote does not matter in the slightest.

Last 5 posts by Thomas Daniels

• Congratulations, President-Elect Obama - November 5th, 2008
• As If It Matters 2008: Gun Control - July 28th, 2008
• As If It Matters 2008: Supreme Court (Interlude) - July 10th, 2008
• As If It Matters 2008: Right To Choose - July 8th, 2008
• Hillary Clinton: I've Seen This Movie Before - March 5th, 2008