According to the Associated Press, Illinois Senator Barack Obama “effectively clinched” the Democratic Presidential nomination today, based on a tally of pledged delegates, superdelegates and the minimum number of delegates he will add to his total today even if he loses both Montana and South Dakota Primaries. Here are the first few paragraphs of this afternoon’s AP story, translated into LOLCAT…
AP TALLY: OBAMA EFFECTIVELY CLINCHEZ NOMINASHUN
WASHINGTON – BARACK OBAMA EFFECTIVELY CLINCHD TEH DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL NOMINASHUN TUESDAI AFTR GRUELIN MARATHON, BASD ON AN ASSOCIATD PRES TALLY OV CONVENSHUN DELEGATEZ, BECOMIN TEH FURST BLACK CANDIDATE EVR 2 LEAD HIS PARTY INTO FALL CAMPAIGN 4 DA WITE HOUZ.
CAMPAIGNIN ON AN INSISTENT CALL 4 CHANGE, OBAMA OUTLASTD FORMR FURST LADY HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON IN HISTORIC RACE DAT SPARKD RECORD TURNOUT IN PRIMARY AFTR PRIMARY, YET EXPOSD DEEP RASHUL AN GENDR DIVISHUNS WITHIN TEH PARTY.
TEH TALLY WUZ BASD ON PUBLIC DECLARASHUNS FRUM DELEGATEZ AS WELL AS FRUM ANOTHR 15 HOO HAS CONFIRMD THEIR INTENSHUNS 2 TEH AP. IT ALSO INCLUDD 11 DELEGATEZ OBAMA WUZ GUARANTED AS LONG AS HE GAIND 30 PERSENT OV TEH VOTE IN SOUTH DAKOTA AN MONTANA LATR IN DA DAI. IT TAKEZ 2,118 DELEGATEZ 2 CLINCH TEH NOMINASHUN.
TEH 46-YER-OLD FURST-TURM SENATOR WILL FACE JOHN MCCAIN IN DA FALL CAMPAIGN 2 BECOME TEH 44TH PRESIDENT. TEH ARIZONA SENATOR CAMPAIGND IN MEMFIS DURIN TEH DAI, AN HAD NO IMMEDIATE REACSHUN 2 OBAMAS VICTORY.
CLINTON STOOD READY 2 CONCEDE DAT HER RIVAL HAD AMASD TEH DELEGATEZ NEEDD 2 TRIUMF, ACCORDIN 2 OFFICIALS IN HER CAMPAIGN. THEY STRESD DAT TEH NEW YORK SENATOR DID NOT INTEND 2 SUSPEND OR END HER CANDIDACY IN SPEECH TUESDAI NITE IN NEW YORK. THEY SPOKE ON CONDISHUN OV ANONYMITY CUZ THEY HAD NOT BEEN AUTHORIZD 2 DIVULGE HER PLANZ.
We’ll know more tonight whether or not his opponent Senator Hillary Clinton of NY will concede, suspend, drop out, battle on or somewhere in between… Stay tuned, and comment below!
Last 5 posts by Matthew Michaels
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