Because I have absolutely no morals, and it’s been a tradition for me to do this (and it’s my last chance to do so), here’s a full list of the dead in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and where their death scenes are in the book, stolen from a handy LJ list:

Burbage (Muggle Studies teacher) dies on pg. 12
Hedwig dies on pg. 56
Mad-Eye Moody dies on pg. 78
Scrimgeour dies on pg. 159
Wormtail (Peter Pettigrew) dies on pg. 471
Dobby dies on pg. 476
Snape dies on pg. 658
Fred Weasley dies on pg. 637
Harry gets f*cked up by Voldemort on pg. 704
Harry comes back to life on pg. 724
Nagini gets beheaded by Neville Longbottom on page 733.
Tonks, Lupin, and Colin Creevy have their deaths confirmed on pg. 743

In case you’re wondering which ships won the titanic decade-long fandom pissfight, it’s Ron/Hermione with two kids (Rose and Hugo) and Harry/Ginny with three (James, Lily, and Albus Severus). So, up yours, Harmonians, not to mention any actual fans of this third-rate piece of trash series. I’m off to read the incredible wank that’s already occurring over this. Not to mention giggling like a little girl while doing so.

Last 5 posts by Eric Szulczewski

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