The Drudge Report is run by a conservative asshole. But I read it. Hey, it’s not necessarily the best site to support, but I’ll give it to the guy, he is pretty good at fishing up interesting news. And that’s how I first found out about the bees dying.

If you don’t know by now, there’s a huge thing going on all over the world with massive numbers of bees dying. It’s called Colony Collapse Disorder, and nobody really knows what’s causing it. Now, you might say, well, bees are nice and all, but why should I care? I’m too busy complaining about the last episode of the Sopranos and watching Paris Hilton cry to worry about bees dying. Well, bees are used to pollinate a huge amount of crops, and at the very least the bee death phenomenon will lead to higher prices for some produce while at the worst there could be massive worldwide food shortages and that will lead to a breakdown of society and everyone will die and only a few people will be left to live in some crazy Mad Max type world. So you should care.

And that’s why I started my bee-log: wherethebeesat.blogspot.com. It’s kind of like the Horse Hater blog, if you’ve ever seen that, but not quite as obnoxious. I thought I’d bring people’s attention to the bee problem and maybe make a few jokes at the same time. Okay, I mostly make jokes but I also get the word out: Save the bees or you’re going to die a slow, horrible death. And I think that’s a pretty valid point.

Despite the fact that I’m writing about the possible end of all life on earth, nobody really seems to be checking out the blog. However, after about two weeks of bee-logging, someone finally posted a comment. It asked if I wanted to be a guest on “Pittsburgh’s No. 1 morning show.” Of course I thought it was a prank from one of my asshole friends, but it wasn’t. Bizarre as it may be, it was the real deal, and three days later I was on the radio as a guest.

I was a little nervous about the whole thing. I let them know beforehand that I’m not a bee expert, just a dude with a hilarious blog that nobody reads, but they didn’t seem to care. They said, “Don’t worry, just go with it, relax.” So I was completely unprepared for the interview. All I assumed was that there would be obnoxious dudes and lots of fart noises, since it was a drive-time morning radio show.

So I did the interview and it lasted three minutes and I totally sucked. I choked. I blew it. But there wasn’t even one fart noise, so I take that as a moral victory.

Lessons learned: Being funny on the radio is hard, we’re all going to die and you should read my bee-log.

Last 5 posts by Dustin Glick

• Dustinland - In Defense of Michael Jackson - June 29th, 2009
• Dustinland - Direct Deposit - June 22nd, 2009
• Dustinland - O, R They? - June 15th, 2009
• Dustinland - Forgotten Toys and Cartoons Part 2 - June 8th, 2009
• Dustinland - Ho Blind - June 1st, 2009