For many people, life moves in a linear fashion: First you get born, then you get an education, then you get a degree, then you get a job, then you get married, then you get a family, then you get an RV, then you get old, then you get a funeral.

That’s a lot of things to get. But what I don’t get is weddings.

In the last year, a lot of people have been talking about weddings – and I don’t mean the media talking about same-sex marriage or the popular summer movie The Wedding Crashers, I mean people have been talking about weddings to me personally.

It seems like once a month (on average) I hear from a high-school acquaintance or an old college buddy about some wedding: “Hey Scott, so-and-so got engaged to what’s-their-face!” or “Guess what? I got engaged!” or “I’ll be in town next week – I’m going to a bridal shower”.

My question is: Where are all these weddings? For all the first and second-hand talk about weddings that I hear, I never go to any of them. As a guest I mean.

I’ve probably been to more wedding receptions than most people my age, because for a year or so I was a wedding DJ. In itself, that was a sweet job. All I had to do was make sure to play “The Electric Slide” and “Lady in Red” and I’d get paid to mooch off the buffet and ogle the bridesmaids to my heart’s content…but that’s a whole different column and not what I wanted to write about.

The point is that when I graduated from high school some years ago, I thought that in my mid-twenties I’d be going to weddings left and right, watching those people who I didn’t really care about all that much go into the next phase of their lives and leave their social calendars to wither and die. But that hasn’t happened. I’ve only been to one wedding since high school. Two if you count one of my cousin’s weddings.

And yet I hear of people getting married all the time. It’s a very weird thing. I keep hearing about weddings, engagements, parties…and yet none of them feel real to me. Aside from that one wedding, no one close to me has gotten married yet.

Does this happen to everyone? I’d like to think it does but I’m not sure. It may have something to do with me being a male. When I recall all the wedding announcements I’ve heard about, it’s invariably a female telling me the news. Guys just seem to be out of it, taking a backseat to the whole shindig and letting their betrothed do the driving. Maybe I’ve been on the guest list to go to a lot of weddings but just never knew about it because the male (pun intended) got lost.

Or maybe it has to do with having a close-knit group of friends who just want to push off the idea of maturity, I don’t really know. What I do know is that the weddings aren’t as plentiful as they seem.

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