I used to enjoy shopping, really, I did. I know that’s an uncommon thing for a male to say but let me explain.

Shopping used to be an easy thing to go about doing. The entire process could be boiled down to five simple steps:

1. I would check my wallet to see that I had the right amount of money (or a plastic substitute).

2. I would get into my car and drive to a mall or store.

3. I would locate the item(s) I wanted.

4. I would exchange money for said good(s) and/or service(s).

5. I would go home and use/enjoy the thing(s) I had bought.

Then politics came to town. Or rather, to the mall. Now shopping has become an ordeal comparable to hunting down the Golden Fleece. It seems everyday someone has come up with a new list of rationales as to why “so and so” is not friendly to someone, and we should boycott them because of that.

Here, let me illustrate what I mean. Let’s imagine that I hear about a new DVD box set coming out and I decide that I want a copy of it. I check through the weekly newspaper advertisements and decide that Wal*Mart has the best price.

Wait! I can’t go to Wal*Mart because they destroy small businesses!

No problem, I’ll just go down the road to Target.

Uh oh! Target is no good because they don’t support “emergency contraception”!

Ok, I’ll go next door to Circuit City.

Halt! Circuit City isn’t friendly to gays and lesbians!

All right, I’ll head across town to Boscov’s.

No! Boscov’s sells products from companies that still engage in animal testing!

Well then, I’ll go home and buy it on-line. I might have to wait a couple of days but I’ll still get it.

Oh no! The site I want to order from uses PayPal and they’re a faceless company that’s in bed with the United Way!

Fine, I guess I don’t need those DVDs anyway…

Do you see what I mean? It’s no wonder that our economy isn’t improving faster – we’re not allowed to shop anywhere anymore! Well, if we want to be all-around caring and accepting people we’re not.

Frankly, this whole thing has gotten ridiculous. It sort of reminds me of the last twenty-five years in food.

Long ago, the US government told us that caffeinated coffee was seriously bad for us. So, many switched to decaf. Then it was announced that decaf wasn’t much better. In fact, it may be just as bad.

After coffee, eggs got attacked for having too much cholesterol. So people swore off eggs and began buying substitutes like Egg Beaters, despite what centuries of people eating eggs had proved to us. A couple years ago, the government said eggs maybe weren’t that bad and that having some cholesterol was good for us. And if those weren’t enough – consider wine.

When a study on heart disease was conducted in France, the results led to the idea that a daily glass of wine was good for the heart. So people reversed their stance on wine drinking. No longer was a bottle of wine at dinner left to just the rich and the ethnic.

Then, sometime in the last few months, I read an article on how drinking a small amount of wine and beer every day is bad for you.

Where am I going with this? This is where – a long time ago, I decided to not let politics influence my decisions about eating. Oh, I don’t mind some federal involvement (when it involves regulating meat and fish products for example) but if I want three scrambled eggs, buttered toast, regular coffee and a bottle of white zinfandel for breakfast, then that’s what I’m gonna have. And the same applies to shopping.

When it comes to shopping, I’ve now adopted a form of “laissez-faire capitalism”. As you may know, the basic idea of laissez-faire capitalism is that the economy does better when there is less governmental influence on personal buying decisions. In other words: “Hands off, I want the red recliner and you Mr. Senator are not going to tell me to buy the green one!”

My form is similar: I’m going to go out and locate the good(s) and/or service(s) I want. And I’m going to decide where to buy those items based mainly on their prices alone – are they reasonable? Are they competitive? Can I get a better deal down the street? Will store Y match store X’s prices for the same item?

That’s it. I’m going to return my consumer life to what it was originally. I may never enjoy shopping again, but if I can get a DVD set for thirty-five dollars instead of fifty…well, you can just keep your politics in your wallet. Me? I’m going to the mall.

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