If the rumors swirling around the Internet
have any grain of truth to them, there is the off chance that
Mick Foley could not only make his return to a WWE ring but
he may do so in a match at WrestleMania XX against Triple
H.

Now, I don’t believe that this will happen
just yet. However, if this rematch is in the works, I can’t
resist the temptation to comment on a few things that have
bothered me as a Mick Foley fan since his retirement.

You see, I am a firm believer in the theory
that without Mick Foley’s generosity in passing the proverbial
torch to Triple H during Mick’s final few matches, Hunter
would not have nearly as much status and credibility as he
does today. If you have listened to WWE programming over the
past two or three years, you must have noticed the long-winded
Triple H promos where he talks about being the best in the
business, being The Game, being the man, etc. Sprinkled in
during some of these promos have been comments about how Triple
H is the man who retired Mick Foley, who ended Mick’s career,
who rid the WWE of Mick Foley, etc.

Every time I hear one of these comments,
despite the fact that they are spread throughout a few months
these days, it just pisses me off to no end that Mick Foley
jobbed to HHH and really made him a superstar. I know that
Mick would not be the man he is without being a selfless individual,
but just once, I would have liked to see one last Mick triumph
before he hung up the boots.

Flashing forward to today, I would love
it if Mick Foley had at least one more match in his system,
and I would love for it to be against Triple H. This time
around, however, I am praying against the odds that perhaps
Hunter will show some balls and be as selfless as Mick once
was towards him. I am calling upon Triple H to go against
his ego and give Mick the match that he deserves, with the
outcome he deserves.

We all know that Foley is God … but we
also know that Hunter loves to play God in the wrestling industry.
One more time, I would like to see the real hero emerge victorious.

Feedback Galore!

My previous
column featured my personal twenty favorite wrestling
characters of all-time. I received a ton of feedback on this
piece, which I appreciate immensely. Many of the emails I
received asked me why I left out names like Roddy Piper, Bret
Hart, HBK, the Undertaker, Kane, Raven, even Perry Saturn.
Below is a rundown as to why I left these certain wrestlers
off my personal list of favorites:

On Piper … The reason Piper fell
short of my list is because the only feelings I’ve ever had
towards the Hot Rod are that he is more irritable and annoying
than interesting. He was definitely one reason that Hulk Hogan
was successful in the early- and mid-80s, but to me that was
not enough to give him a top 20 spot. Another reason I shied
away from Piper is that over the past few years, he had made
comebacks in WCW, NWA and WWE that were anything but impressive.
Like the Ultimate Warrior, Piper is more nonsensical than
marketable these days, and I guess for me he’s hung out a
bit too long for me to view him fondly.

On Bret Hart … Now, Bret Hart was
a very sound technical wrestler. However, the Hitman was never
great at cutting promos, and usually it took other wrestlers
good at promoting matches to get the fans riled up enough
to care about them in the first place. He was at his best
when he was part of a faction or wrestling a charismatic opponent,
and inside the ring Bret was definitely one of the best in
the business. He would probably be #22 on my list of favorites,
just outside the top 20 that I posted a couple of weeks ago.

On HBK … If Bret Hart would be
#22, HBK would be #21 on my list of favorites. He doesn’t
crack the top 20 for me because HBK, like the Hitman, was
great at telling a story in the ring. Outside the ring, however,
Michaels’ promos (outside of his stint with D-X) were not
very entertaining, in my opinion. He gets the one-up on Bret
here merely for his super-kick on Marty Jannetty, which sent
poor Marty through the infamous plate-glass window during
a segment at Brutus Beefcake’s Barbershop.

On the Undertaker … Okay, here’s
my problem with the Undertaker’s character. Simply put, the
Dead Man was one of the most well conceived characters of
all-time, worthy of top 10 contention. However, this whole
biker dude gimmick, which has now lasted several years, has
turned me off so much so that I just can’t put Undertaker
in my top 20 anymore. I am actually hoping that Vince does
bury the Undertaker alive at Survivor Series, especially if
it means that the Phenom will return with his old persona
and theme music.

On Kane … I think Kane’s character
has gotten better and better as of late. The dinner with Shane
segment, in my opinion, was different and actually kind of
creepy in that calm before the storm sort of way. It took
WWE and Glen Jacobs a long time to really develop and perfect
Kane’s nuances, and one strike against Kane in the entertainment
department is that at times, his feuds get really old really
quickly. His association and fallout feud with X-Pac was dragged
out way too long, for instance, and we all know the disaster
that was the Katie Vick angle. With that said, Kane is showing
me something lately, in the sense that he’s been keeping my
interest more than many of his fellow superstars. For that
alone he should be applauded.

On Raven … Raven is definitely
a cerebral, dark character that is usually either hated or
revered. I fall somewhere in the middle with Raven, because
while he has showed so much grit and potential over the years,
he had a very disappointing run in WWE. This obviously isn’t
his fault, but he languished for a long time under Vince’s
reign and that was enough for me to take him out of the top
20.

On Saturn … Any character who wants
to do it with a wooden mop over Terri Runnels needs to get
bitch-slapped rather than praised. Not to mention his stiff
wrestling style and the fact he wore a dress for an extended
period of time in WCW. Sorry, Perry, try again next time.

Well, I hope these explanations served
to elucidate a few things here and there. Thanks for the feedback,
and, as always, thanks for reading.

————————————————–

And Doris from Rego Park is on the
FAN … (Tribute)

I don’t know how many of you listen to
WFAN 660 radio in NY, but on this past Monday, at around 12:55
pm, sports talk radio hosts Jodie MacDonald and Sid Rosenberg
closed their show with the unfortunate news that Doris from
Rego Park – one of the FAN’s most loyal callers and a very
intense Mets fan – died of complications associated with cancer.
I was really upset to hear the news of Doris’ passing, because
she was so passionate about baseball and ever since I can
remember listening to WFAN’s late nite programming, Doris
was ready to talk Mets baseball year-round. She wasn’t the
most insightful caller, but she more than made up for it with
her unrivaled dedication to her favorite team. Personally,
I don’t call WFAN that much, but every day I listen to parts
of Imus in the Morning, Mac and Sid, Mike
and the Mad Dog, the “Schmoozer” Steve Somers, and Joe
Benigno on the overnights. I listen to the FAN at least three
or four hours a day, and the regular callers and the on-air
talent really have become a community that I know I can count
on to be there for me when I want to talk sports or just hear
some familiar voices. I hate the fact that people are saying
that some day regular radio will be obsolete, because in all
honesty, the radio is what keeps me going when I am at Hofstra
University doing work or what wakes me up when I am home on
the weekends. I love the radio more than I even love television,
and the atmosphere emitted from WFAN is, in my opinion, unrivaled
in the sports talk arena. I can listen to WFAN and recite
Joe Benigno’s “Umberto’s Clamhouse” promo word for word. I
can listen to WFAN and tell that Sid is upset because when
he does his Aamco (double A, M, C, O) promo he doesn’t go
bonkers on the last O. I can listen to WFAN and become awestruck
by Steve Somers’ perfectly scripted opening monologue, which
he always opens with something along the lines of “Well good
evening to you and how you be on the FAN New York City, Steve
Somers here and you there.” Whatever the case may be, WFAN
is a very special place for me, and I really couldn’t imagine
my days or nights without it.

To find out more about Doris from Rego
Park, you can click
here to read WFAN’s official statement about her life
and what she meant to the radio station. I will say here that
she was the daughter of a Holocaust survivor and suffered
her entire life from a rare condition called Neurofibromatosis,
and yet every day she had the courage to call the FAN despite
struggling with a chronic cough.

Doris, you will always be remembered by
this very upset Mets fan. Just like the way you always ended
your calls, I would like to say Doris, thank you for your
time and courtesy.

That’s all for now … Peace.

- Chris

Chris Biscuiti is a fan of the Mets,
Jets, Knicks and Islanders. As a result, his only salvation
comes when the Yankees lose in October, the Dolphins in December,
and the Rangers anytime.
He also writes for 411mania,
and occasionally updates his
own site, too, but that is more a rarity than the
norm.

Last 5 posts by Chris Biscuiti

• News Analysis: This is Not a Wrestling Story - June 26th, 2007
• Rime of the Super Mario - April 5th, 2005
• A Secret Crept - March 29th, 2005
• To Be A Protagonist - March 21st, 2005
• The Phone Number Attached - March 15th, 2005