He’s A Crook, But He’s Our Crook

By Eric Szulczewski

The readers of Inside Pulse deserve a nice Christmas gift from the site. What better gift to give them than me? You know you come here in case I write something new (and those of you who haunt the Wrestling section, yes, I should be back for RumbleMania Season). So, Happy Freakin’ Holidays, everyone. And someone had better, I mean better, edit the Inside Pulse entry at TVTropes to include me. No one comes here for Keith and Lucard and you damn well know it.
…read full article…

Mr. So-Far-So-Good: Diminishing My Propensity for Violence, One Weekend at a Time

By Olya Orlova

Hello again, beautiful people. It’s been a while since I sat down to compose a masterpiece of epic proportions for you faithful readers–partly because life is testing me with all sorts of obstacle courses, and partly because.. well, for the first time in my life I can honestly say that I am in a happy, healthy, and overall fantastic relationship, which leaves me with very little to bitch and moan about. BUT, simply because I have managed to find a good man among the wreckage (no offense, douchebags) who has taken away the overwhelming urge I’ve always had to hit my significant other over the head with a heavy shovel, does not mean that I have nothing decent left to say! So, I’m gonna spew some wisdom…
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Dustinland - At least I have a job!

By Dustin Glick

This week’s Dustinland is sad but true. A few months ago, many of us were preparing arguments to ensure big enough raises, and saying things like, “If they don’t give me at least 10% I am outta here!” But now that the economy is in the pooper, those days are long gone. Now the same people who got mad at rumors of smaller bonuses are just glad to have jobs. And when you see the person in the next cubicle packing their things into a cardboard box, well, the next time you have to stay a few hours late after work, suddenly you’re not griping like you used to. Well, at least Obama won, and hopefully that means this thing will turn around sooner rather than later - or never.

.:: Dustinland 12.01.08 ::.

The Yeti Rants: The Change has Come to Town!

By Jeff Hopkins

“Change doesn’t come from Washington. Change comes to Washington.”
“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.”
-President Elect Barack Obama

Ah yes.. the buzzword of the 08 election.  Change.  Well, the constituency bought it hook, line and sinker and voted for change.  They put into office a man that has limited senate experience, a dubious voting record at best, and little to no executive experience.  Hey, but what’s experience really worth anyway?  We’re getting CHANGE!  We’re getting “alternative energy.” We’re getting.. we’re getting.. we’re getting… Do I sense a theme here?  So.. how is this change coming about?  Let’s take a look:
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Dustinland - Custinland

By Dustin Glick

Well, I’m back from workacation (work + vacation) abroad, and sadly I have come home to freezing cold weather and a pretty sour looking economy. The latter subject shall most likely be an ongoing subject of Dustinlands in the near future, but this week you can enjoy this cute story of the indignity I am forced to undergo every day. But to tell you the truth, I actually like the whole Custin thing. You know, any attention is good attention, right? Except for being beaten by a wrench. That’s bad attention. Also, getting run over by a tank. Not good.

.:: Dustinland 11.24.08 ::.

Dustinland - OBAMA WINS!!!!!! WOOHOOO !!!!!

By Dustin Glick

YAY!!!! New happy Dustinland!!! Enjoy everyone! I’m out of the country on bidness for two weeks! See you soon! Congrats everyone and thanks for making the world a better place!!!

.:: Dustinland 11.05.08 ::.

Congratulations, President-Elect Obama

By Thomas Daniels

I won’t pretend to be happy about the outcome. I wanted McCain to be the Republican candidate in 2000 and I wanted him to win the presidency this year. But, I’m tremendously proud that this country elected its first African-American President. While the college student turnout, and their relative obnoxiousness, rubs me the wrong way — it gives me great hope for the future of this country that less and less people think race means anything. My grandmother — a minority herself as a non-racist, 70-year-old Irish woman — said something that stuck with me from the time I was a little kid: “Anyone who tells you someone can be judged by anything other than the content of their character is someone you shouldn’t listen to. People are just people.” She was different for her generation. I hope it’s the norm for this one.
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Vengeance Is Mine, Sayeth The Demo

By Eric Szulczewski

I’m crying.

I haven’t cried on an election night since 1992. But I’m crying now. Just like my fellow former resident of Hyde Park/Kenwood, Jesse Jackson.
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Election Day - The Next President…

By Matthew Michaels

UPDATE (11pm ET) - It’s Barack Obama; the 44th President and first African American to be elected Chief Executive.

It’s Republican Senator John McCain vs. Democratic Senator Barack Obama to determine the next President of the United States… and we’ll post results here once the major news organizations start calling it… in the meantime, feel free to comment below!

Dustinland - Halloween Story for Election Night Jitters

By Dustin Glick

There is just nothing left to say about the election tomorrow, so I figured this week’s Dustinland should be something light and fun. Hopefully it will make you laugh and forget about the election for a second. I know I need to stop thinking about it. I’m already anxious - I’m sure tomorrow night I’ll be a nervous wreck.

.:: Dustinland 11.03.08 ::.

Dustinland - Race To The Finish

By Dustin Glick

You know, I wrote and drew this week’s Dustinland before this story came out:

“Two white supremacists allegedly plotted to go on a national killing spree, shooting and decapitating black people and ultimately targeting Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, federal authorities said Monday.” - (read the full story here)

But you know, I think even if this didn’t happen, the comic would still be pretty dead on. Now, to head off predictable comments, let me say it for the one millionth time - NOT ALL REPUBLICANS ARE RACIST and YOU ARE NOT AUTOMATICALLY A RACIST IF YOU DON’T VOTE FOR OBAMA. That being said, there really is a scary amount of racial hatred being uncovered in this election. Some of the clips I see - especially online - make me wonder if it’s 2008 or 1948. But it’s like I said in this Dustinland from the other week, the same assholes who were calling hippies “long-haired faggot commies” are still out there today, and have even reproduced.

What I really wonder is this: Are the racists of this country afraid that a black man will become president, or are they more afraid that if he gets elected, he’ll do a good job?

.:: Dustinland 10.27.08 ::.

Hodgepodgeatorium - The Most Pressing Issue

By mathan erhardt

The election is just around the corner and I’m still undecided. I’ve got to say that I’m not all that satisfied with the candidates. I’m sure that they’re qualified to be president. But they’re lacking something, something that’s important to me.

There’s a person that’s free in the world that needs to be brought to justice. This person committed an act earlier in the decade that affected the lives of many Americans and forever altered the world, as we know it. And I think that it’s an issue that needs to be addressed by the candidates, even though it wasn’t brought up at any of the debates. …read full article…

Dustinland - Fight Back Against Vote Fraud in ‘08!

By Dustin Glick

“The people who cast the votes don’t decide an election, the people who count the votes do.” - Joseph Stalin

This week’s Dustinland is no joke. In America, we grow up reading about countries in South Amerca and Africa and Asia where the elections are rigged, where dictators win 101% of the vote, and we think, “Wow, that must suck to live in a place like that.” Well, this is turning into one of those countries. We NEED to keep our electoral system honest. Before we can think of even trying to turn this country around, we need to make sure that our votes are being counted. Otherwise, nothing else matters. The very people causing the problems will continue to be the ones making all the decisions.

So do everything you can to make sure your vote counts this year, especially if you’re in a swing state. And if in the days following the election there are clear signs of vote fraud, we can’t sit idly by and let it go uncontested. For example, many people believe the ‘04 election was stolen. Now, it’s great that these people protested:

But that’s not the kind of protest that will get you change. In 2006, people in Mexico thought their election was stolen. This was how they protested:

And, sadly, even this kind of protest didn’t achieve it’s goal. But it’s a step in the right direction. What’s the next step after that? What more can you do? It’s hard to say. All I know is that there are places in this world where people would die for the right to vote. Here, we don’t even fight for it when it’s taken away from us right before our very eyes. That needs to change, and it’s up to each and everyone of us to change it.

***Thanks to Greg Palast and Robert F Kennedy Jr. for all the work they’re doing to make sure all Americans have the right to vote. Please visit stealbackyourvote.org, download their comic, donate, and spread the word.

.:: Dustinland 10.20.08 ::.

A Question That Won’t Be Asked at Tonight’s Presidential Debate…

By Matthew Michaels

“Senators McCain and Obama — you are still U.S. Senators, right? — you have both posted intricate plans on your Web sites detailing what you would do to help the economy recover. What have you done to bring your plan to Congress in the form of a resolution?”
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Dustinland - A Brief History of Conservatism

By Dustin Glick

“In its second minute the Hate rose to a frenzy. People were leaping up and down in their places and shouting at the tops of their voices in an effort to drown the maddening bleating voice that came from the screen… A hideous ecstasy of fear and vindictiveness, a desire to kill, to torture, to smash faces in with a sledge-hammer, seemed to flow through the whole group of people like an electric current, turning one even against one’s will into a grimacing, screaming lunatic…” - George Orwell, 1984

This week’s Dustinland was inspired by all the nasty things McCain supporters have been saying about Obama lately - particularly that he’s a terrorist. I mean, does that word even have a meaning anymore? If you asked these people to define “terrorist,” I wonder what they’d come up with, besides just saying “Obama” or “someone who hates freedom” or some other meaningless bullshit. Because it’s not about truth or logic with these people. It’s about us or them. And it has been that way for a long, long time. The people who today call themselves “conservatives” have been around forever. I’m not talking about Ron Paul supporters or people with brains who choose to support the Republican party for some reason. I’m talking about the people who wish that McCain would step down and let Palin run for office herself. These people are angry. They’re afraid. They don’t want something different. They don’t want something new. They don’t want change: It scares them. So they look at the thing they fear, and they label it, they debase it, they hate it, and they try to destroy it. And the Republican Party today needs these people to win, so it has become a cult of mean, angry, raving lunatics. And to see them together in large groups can be a frightening thing.

.:: Dustinland 10.13.08 ::.

Comedy Central’s Indecision 2008 Addictionary: johndescending

By widro

Today’s Top Choice in the “There Outta Be A Word Contest”

johndescending –

(noun) Someone who repeats the phrase “my friends” ad nauseum during debates in an attempt to buddy up to the American people.

…read full article…

The Yeti Rants: Wall Street, Congress and Bailouts.. OH MY

By Jeff Hopkins

“All the perplexities, confusion and distresses in America arise not from defects in the constitution or confederation, nor from want of honor or virtue, as much from downright ignorance of the nature of coin, credit, and circulation. “– John Adams

Well, with all the bad news about the credit crisis in the news, today our government has finally offered us a solution for something. Now all we have to do is find a way to harness the spinning of the corpses of our founding fathers as an energy source and we have our solution to clean energy problem.

Well, they went and did it. Our brilliant leaders have bailed out the greedy banks by giving them 700 billion dollars of our money. Good to know that the only way the bill got passed was by including bribes to congressmen for their votes in the way of pork, mental health insurance and tax cuts. Truly our government has finally lost its mind and placed the final nail in the coffin of the idea that this country is a free market run on capitalism. Let’s welcome the socialist era with open arms.

I’ll admit that I’m going off a bit half cocked right now as I haven’t read anything but summaries of the bill. I do find it interesting however that what started as a four page bill from the desk of the president has been bloated to a 450 page bill full of congressional incentives, regulations and stipulations. My, do our lawyers love their loop holes. However, this bill, at its fundamental core violates all that our country was built on and should stand for.

Capitalism is about making decisions. The bottom line is these greedy bankers made bad decisions that lead to their companies being put into dire straights and financial trouble. The people that made decisions for these banks knowingly invested money in what amounts to paper, then sold these shaky investments to other people, who willingly bought them. Why? Because the government backed them. Then, when the housing markets started to crash, as all markets naturally do, these people all started losing money. Who’s left holding the bill for these bad decisions? We are.

This is not what is meant by “We the People”. There are a lot of questions that should be asked. If the Bush administration and the republicans knew that this was going on, why didn’t they warn investors? Why did the Democrat controlled congress not vote for controls on these investments to stem the pending financial crisis that we are now in? Why did government agencies like the SEC, that are set up to prevent and monitor this sort of thing, not call these people to task for what they were doing? I think however the biggest question is we should be asking is, why are we, as tax payers, the ones responsible for bailing these people out and pretty much giving them a get out of jail free card while they walk off with the big pile of money in the middle of the board because they landed on free parking?

Are there provisions in this bill to remove the CEO’s that made these decisions? Are there provisions in the bill to prevent these same CEO’s from getting their bonuses from the money their company will be making once we bail them out with our hard earned money? I haven’t heard of anything sweeping that will stick.

The other truly disturbing thing is that the Republican party, the party of less government and laissez-faire have permitted something like this to be voted through on their watch, and worse, championed it! Are you kidding me? Why aren’t these men out there shaking their fingers at these collapsing banks going, “well, that’s what happens when you make bad business decisions.”

I realize that they have scared all of us with tales of economic woe that will ensue should this bill not have passed. They point to the 777 point drop of the Dow on the day the bill was first voted down, without of course pointing to the rebound of close to 500 points the following day. “It was the largest drop of the dow ever” they cry, without saying that percentage wise it wasn’t even close to what happened in 1987. Again, I hate to sound like the raving conspiracy theorist, but is this the excuse they wanted to get their hands on the free market? Well, they’ve done it.

No, I’m not blind to the problems that not bailing these companies out would cause. Yes, they are some of the largest banks in the country and things could have become much worse than they are. I also understand that some good is coming out of this bill, namely the increase of the FDIC insurance limit from $100,000 to $250,000. However, there are no guarantees that this bill will make things better. All it does is put our money on the line at a time when I think it might be better spent elsewhere.

This bailout is the first step on to a very dangerous and slippery slope that I don’t think our government is to worried about sliding down. Our government has truly lost their focus as what their purpose should be, and it’s time that we the people start calling these men and women to task and get them out of the decision making process by replacing them with people who are going to keep the people and the constitution in the front of their minds.

Hodgepodgeatorium - Undecided

By mathan erhardt

So I decided to dust off the old column, it being an election year and all. And I’ve got to say that I’m kinda sorta paying attention now. I pretty much avoided all of the primary stuff because really, who cares about that stuff? Now my eyes are open and I’m an undecided waiting to be swayed. …read full article…

Dustinland - Survival of The Fittest

By Dustin Glick

I took a break from politics for this week’s Dustinland since I had all this work stuff on my mind. It’s weird - like I said in the comic, I’ve never been the competitive type. I usually just do what has to be done and hope my work can stand for itself. But in my current job, it doesn’t work like that, and I find it really weird trying to succeed in this dog eat dog environment. I mean, in my office you don’t have to lie (well you do have to lie - it is advertising) or cheat or anything like that to get ahead, but you are constantly pitted against other people in terms of getting your work and your ideas to go through. I’m sure it’s the same way in many industries. It’s just weird when you find yourself hoping for someone else to fail, and knowing they’re thinking the exact same thing about you. Of course, you don’t want them to fail because you dislike them - in fact, if everyone could succeed together, that would be fantastic. But when there’s only room for one winner, then you have to root against the everyone else. I feel like Simon on American Idol, when he talks about how the contestants pretend to be sad when someone else gets voted off the show but inside they’re just happy it’s not them. But that’s pretty much the way it goes.

.:: Dustinland 10.06.08 ::.

Dustinland - The Same Story

By Dustin Glick

This week’s Dustinland isn’t about a story that’s repeated over and over again (although it is). It’s about a story about how people like to vote for whatever is the same. The same sex, race, religion, whatever. Forget the issues. Forget where they stand on the economy, foreign policy, blah blah blah. All that matters is if they’re just like me in the most shallow ways possible. Heck, I don’t care if they know how to run the government, as long as they seem like they’d be fun to have a beer with, that’s good enough for me.

To prove my point, remember how they were saying 100 million people would watch the debate last week? Only 50 million tuned in. What about the rest of America? Too busy watching UFC?

.:: Dustinland 09.29.08 ::.